You are my home
You are my family
The days get shorter and the nights get cold. I like the autumn but this place is getting old. I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast. It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most. The days get longer and the nights smell green. I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave.
20 PA
I CARE TOO LITTLE I CARE TOO MUCH
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“I wish you knew how much I love you, because then you would never be sad like this.”
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“You are my life.”
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I wish every little thing didn’t make me pissed to an extreme
just these past few days
and probably the next few
maybe I just need more sleep
I’m an emotional wreck over literally nothing
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Can’t you see I don’t want you to feel this way because
I feel what you feel,
and it’s killing me.
It’s killing me.
Why isn’t it killing you too?
I’ll just forget it.
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each other’s real firsts
I don’t ever want to let you down
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it’s easier for me to sleep when your watch is ticking in my ear
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I love you more than I love myself
wow
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I don’t care what anyone thinks of this, I’m not even going to explain myself to anyone about it. Fuck it, either stand by my side and show me your support, ignore it, or be pissed about it and fuck off, we don’t need you. I have what I need now, and if you’re not going to be happy about it, I could really care less, just leave us alone. Mind your fucking business, I know what I’m doing.
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Please, please, please, please, please be worth it
because I’m giving up so much just to give you a fucking fighting chance.
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You’ve spoiled me
I don’t want to be here tonight
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I’m one of those girls now.
and I don’t give a fuck.
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I’d like to say that you did this to yourself but that would be a lie. I did this to you, and made you think it was your own fault. We both held back from each other until the last second, then we both released at the same time and it scared the shit out of both of us. Now it’s here to bite us both in the ass. You lied to yourself for long enough, and now your defenses are down, and here I am, getting away scot-free. I’m the bad guy, and I’m probably going to be the only one benefiting from this, how fucked up is that. I am so fucking sorry for how this is tearing you apart.
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I’m sorry, was I supposed to put my life on hold for you until you decided to grow up?
I might be selfish as fuck, but so are you.
I’d feel bad for you, but I’m still mad at you.
The very least I can do is try not to twist the knife, it’ll take everything in me to restrain myself.
This is going to make me look like the bad guy.
Maybe I am the bad guy.
avant▻
